Long Since Forgotten 1

EMAIL 1

Howday, have you ever wanted to write an email just cause, well for no reason at all? neither have i. im just bored and figured i would say hi to everyone. just in case you didnt already know, im not staying home anymore. i think im back to normal as far as health goes and i will be enjoying life outside of my living room. ive discovered several things you should not do while recovering from a mixillofacial surgery. sneazing....it hurts really bad. (not to mention you blow blood all over everything that is sitting in front of you) yawning. when your jaw is very limitted on how wide it can open and yawning requires a very open mouth, well...lets just say its not fun. also....someone should monitor you to make sure you do not watch shrek more than 5 times. after 5 your brain starts doing this little twitch thing that makes you relate everything around you to how shrek would see it. i would have been totally oblivious to this fact before i did it. i think it would have been really bad for me but i really only watched the movie 4 times when it was normal. the other 2 times i had the editors commentary on. another thing that can permanantly damage one of many peoples favorite pieces of furniture is the lack of a pillow case. i know lots of people get very attatched to their pillow. i like my pillow, or used to. right after my operation i came home and fell asleep for about 3 hours. i think it was three hours but i was kinda out of it so you could give or take a couple hours and it wouldnt be too far from the truth. i woke up with a big puddle of blood on my pillow and blanket and my clothes and it was kinda gross. i didnt feel like moving so i just went back to sleep. when i woke up it had crusted all over everything. then it was even more gross. when i pulled my face off of my pillow it was kinda stuck. i really wish i woulda had a pillow case. one thing that would help you, if you havnt already had to have your wisdom teeth removed, is to start practicing new eating habbits. it would benifit you alot to go ahead and learn how to use either your tongue or your thumb as your lower set of teeth. all you have to do is move your finger or tongue in an up and down mechanic motion under your upper two front teeth. it gets easy with practice. always try to keep food away from the areas of opperation. for instance, if you are eating yogurt, (first of all try getting the stuff without chunks of strawberry in it) try to keep and large particles of fruit from getting lodged between your swollen cheek and your very sore hole in your mouth. i think it would be so easy to be a hermit. after about 2 days of no human contact you kinda get used to being alone. you also start going a little crazy. but hey, have you ever met a hermit that wasnt a little bit twisted upstairs? me either. i think some people actually think they have reasons to be a hermit. i was trying to think of a reason the whole time i was trapped at my house. nothing came to me until i actually left my house today. i realized that there are lots of dumb people in this world. if you are around the wrong people to long you will be driven to insanity and therefore, in an effort to save themselves from years in a phsyc ward, people become hermits. personally i would rather be a troll because they get to live under bridges and have really cool hair. you are prolly already bored with this email but i will go on anyway. it wont hurt my feelings if you dont read it all. in fact there really isnt any way for me to know if you read it or not. no matter. its a pointless note spawned by the boredom deep within me. actually boredom is not the only thing prompting me to write this. i also just dont want to start my homework. i have quite a bit since i have been out of school for prolly the longest ive ever missed. i hate homework. its worse than having a waiter/waitress with a really bad cold that comes out with your drinks and you notice the ends of her fingers are actually in the fluid that you will be (or would be if you hadnt seen) drinking very soon. have you ever written something and forgot you wrote it. then like six months to 2 years later you find it on your hard drive? i found tons of stuff on my computer and it was weird. between reading my own matterial and being in the same two rooms for 5 days i got pretty weird. i started doing things like randomly getting urges to email people. who knows why i just did. so thats kinda what this whole thing is. i learned alot about myself this weekend. you learn alot about a person when you talk to them alot and i found myself talking to myself quite a bit. i think that is the first sign of lack of social life. im a people person...when im not around people i get annoyed and start either chatting on msn or reading/writing emails. but yes...i did learn alot about myself. i discovered that my right foot is still incredibly larger than my left. i found myself ignoring the shrek movie and totally concentrating on my foots massiveness. i like to talk to stars. most people would diagnose me as being extremely insecure for doing something that weird but what can i say...there werent any people around and i needed to talk. I had lots of time to pray. that was nice. i needed that. i was testing to see if i had epilepsy but i got bored and watched shrek again. i really enjoy those cheap little roller massage thingys. it is kinda hard to massage your own back though. i was creative and found that there are several ways to make it work. first is what i like to call the baloo. if you have ever seen the original jungle book im sure you will understand. there is a part in the jungle book where baloo is scratching his back on a palm tree. that inspired me. all you need for this is a roll of duct tape and a door (preferibly wooden). you tape the roller to the door adjacent to your lower back. then you lean against the roller and move your body up and down. although this is the most efficient method, it is embarrasing when you have someone watching you and you dont know it till they are totally convinced that you have lost your marbles. so i had to make a second attempt at a self made back massage. several years ago, my childhood was blessed with an extenda-arm thingy. its a cheap plastic toy that you hold and can use as a mechanical arm with a dual hook at the end for grabbing things. when you tighten your hand to a fist, the hooks close together around whatever is between them. this comes in handy. all you need to do for this one is hook the massage roller between the hooks and hold the handle behind your head. make sure that the roller ball is facing you for the best results. continue to make up and down movements until you are satisified or your arm is about to fall off. the main problems with this method is that your arm tires out way too fast and it is hard to put alot of pressure on your back. sometimes the roller will fall out of the hooks and you will have to start all over again. this is easily fixed with duck tape. what would this world be like without duck tape? it would be pretty sad let me tell ya. you would have to fix everything with paste. by the way, i discovered the other day that paste is made with flower and water. so...what exactly happens in our stomachs when we eat flower. is that like gluing our insides together. i sure hope not cause all those times that i thought i was eating pure sugar and it was really flower might have a detrimental affect on my future plans....living. well...come to think of it i dont think ive ever eaten pure flower. i dont think ive ever even eaten pure sugar except that one time at convention several years ago when jason and i had a contest to see who could eat the most sugar packets without throwing up. we never really got to finish that contest. we both got in trouble. it was dumb. i think i coulda downed another 10 or 12 before totally loosing it. jason didnt look to good though. so i think i coulda won. dont you hate that....your about to win and you are forced to quit. so annoying. well....this has been a long long boring email from me that is pointless. if you read this whole thing i commend you. your either really bored or a speed reader. thanks for listening. later. -me

ps. i would just like to say thank you to all of the people that came to visit me while i was under "house arrest." without you, i would prolly have gone totally insane instead of just half insane