Long Forgotten 10

Long boring email 10

Howday,

Welcome to the world of the long boring emails. It has been what seems like an eternity since i wrote long boring email nine, but i am finally moving on. Time seems to be moving so slow. Everyday i go to school i hate it more. It really annoys me that we don’t get out till the 27^th. In fact….if we went any longer i would have to just drop out and get my GED. I guess that school is just the thorn in my flesh. I seem to learn more things outside of school that i do inside. For instance….i learned the other night why i should never be allowed to go to walmart by myself. See….i was at robby thomens house till around 230 playing music and video games and stuff like that. But then he got tired and prom was the next day so i left…and went to wal mart. It was a bad idea to begin with because i was hungry. Anyone with brains knows that its not good to go to walmart when you are hungry unless they are selling chicken because you might end up walking out with half of the store. Well….i ended up being there for about an hour and a half. It wasn’t like i was getting a lot of stuff…it was more like i couldn’t decide what i wanted. I stood looking at the milk for about 10 minutes. I knew that i wanted the kind with the purple lid but i couldn’t pick one. There were waaaayyy too many. So i just stood there. It was pretty pointless…but then the worst thing came..the old bagel problem. See…i couldn’t decide whether i should get the regular bagels and the strawberry cream cheese or if i should get the strawberry bagels and the regular cream cheese. I don’t even have a clue how long it took me to figure that out…but lets just say that i walked around for awhile after that and all i ever ended up getting was the milk, STRAWBERRY bagels, and the REGULAR cream cheese. So maybe i spent enough time for the milk to go sour. Then i came home and read up on apologetics and went to bed….unfortunately my parents felt that it was necessary to wake me up two hours later. So i was kinda like the walking dead for most of the day….which was the day of prom. A very wise man named Andrew Roberts….or as most call him..Nacho told me that guys are just accessories. It is true. Prom is all about girls. Boys don’t really care and they would prolly go in their gym clothes if girls didn’t care. But no..girls care a lot. So us guys become accessories to them. I do have to say that Nacho is my hero though. He wore the coolest thing to prom that ive seen anyone wear. He wore a Chinese suit and a pair of (what he called) bodyguard sunglasses. It was awesome. Actually, a friend of mine told me that at their prom two of her friends wore suits like the ones from dumb and dumber and they even drove up on their moped. She said it was awesome. The first thing that i remember thinking when i got to afterprom was…i would hate to work in a pickle factory. I mean think about it…working around a pickle smell…coming home smelling like a pickle. Blech….i couldn’t handle it. Don’t ask me what spawned that thought because i really don’t remember but i am guessing that it came from when i saw the subway platter with about a gazillion pickles on it. Who knows. I was really tired at all the afterprom stuff cause i hadn’t slept much in the days leading up to it. For some reason when i was at prom i started thinking about a story that i wrote along long time ago. I came home and looked and looked for it but i didn’t find it. Then today i randomly came across it in a pile of stuff that i hadn’t gone through for months. If you have ever seen my room you will know how its possible to lose something for a year or so. Well the story goes kinda like this… Once there was a man not so much like yourself but not so different either. He was rather odd and stayed away from people. He lived in a walnut tree where he could experiment freely. Then, one day, he was walking through the woods to find some bailing wire to fix his water fountain when all of the sudden…BAM…He tripped over what appeared to be a small gnome. In reality it was a leprechaun. This poor creature had been frozen by an ancient evil witch. He began screaming because he was soo happy. He started thanking the man for tripping over him. The leprechaun then explained that the only way the spell could be broken is if someone accidentally tripped over him. The man was kinda scared of the little thing but he began talking to it and calling him troll. See…after thousands of years your hair begins to look really really weird and the weather makes it change colors. He asked the man what his name was but it had been so long since the guy had been in a situation that he had to know his name that he had completely forgotten it. Thus..”Troll called him Man. He then explained to Man that he would grant him three wishes. Man didn’t understand this at first because he was convinced by Disney at a young age that only genies could grant you three wishes. Finally Troll got him to begin pondering what he would ask for. Man’s first wish was that all of the whales would be saved. He then wished that pigs could fly. While he was pondering what his third wish would be he realized he was very lonely and that he enjoyed talking to someone other than himself for a change. Man finally said “i would like you to live with me.” This request surprised Troll so much that he ran and jumped into the river. While he floated down the river he was eating a cookie that he found in his pocket. When he finally pulled himself out of the river, he then climbed the nearest tree. In the tree he found a treasure chest. He, not being the smartest of his kind, did not realize that this was Man’s house. It took Man a bit longer to get to the tree because he had to walk through the woods. When he did finally get there, Troll started throwing mangos at him. Man asked him “where did you get mangos in Canada?” Troll screamed back “Go Away! I already granted you three wishes …errr sorta.” Then man cocked his head to the side and gave Troll a very puzzled look. “I thought you said three fishes.” He said. He was not altogether smart enough to realize that Troll, pigs, and even whales are not truly fish. Being a kindhearted leprechaun, Troll gave Man three more wishes. For his new first wish Man asked for a piece of chocolate cake. After devouring it he wished to be a merman and live in a pineapple under the sea. After a short swim, he came back up for his last wish. He said, “Before i came to the wild to live on my own i remember hearing a song on the radio. It said that i should ‘wish for the moon.’ So i think that i will use my final wish to wish for the moon.” At that moment the moon hurled itself toward the earth at a speed exceeding the speed of light by more that a hundred times. The impact of the moon destroyed the earth and several surrounding planets. THE END     but see…there actually is a moral to this story. Never wish for the moon…or anything dumb like that. If it is possible that your wish might destroy human life altogether then you probably should just wish that pigs could fly….well…..that might kill a lot of humans too….so just wish that you were a cowboy or something like that. Anyway…this long and boring email has come to its finish line. Gday to all of yall. See ya in my next good ol long boring email. Later -me