Starting Over

Hello again,

Throughout my life I have sporadically written posts to anyone who cared to read them. It seems as though I do this when I have a "down" season in my life. By that I simply mean when I have more time. Below I have posted some of my old long boring emails. Right now I don't really have a great deal of spare time on my hands, but I think that now is a good time to start updating everyone on what has happened in my life for the past few years. I love telling stories. This blog is going to be my outlet for telling stories. I am planning to start another blog sometime soon called calebs-commentaries. There I will be writing of my daily (maybe weekly) findings in scripture. I share stories with many of you who are reading right now. I have had many incredible experiences that I should write about, but I need you to remind me what they are. So here is your job right now. Please be so kind as to write something in the comment box that is a memory we share. I will then write up the story in the near future. Be sure to check back often for more entries. -over

Long Since Forgotten 1

EMAIL 1

Howday, have you ever wanted to write an email just cause, well for no reason at all? neither have i. im just bored and figured i would say hi to everyone. just in case you didnt already know, im not staying home anymore. i think im back to normal as far as health goes and i will be enjoying life outside of my living room. ive discovered several things you should not do while recovering from a mixillofacial surgery. sneazing....it hurts really bad. (not to mention you blow blood all over everything that is sitting in front of you) yawning. when your jaw is very limitted on how wide it can open and yawning requires a very open mouth, well...lets just say its not fun. also....someone should monitor you to make sure you do not watch shrek more than 5 times. after 5 your brain starts doing this little twitch thing that makes you relate everything around you to how shrek would see it. i would have been totally oblivious to this fact before i did it. i think it would have been really bad for me but i really only watched the movie 4 times when it was normal. the other 2 times i had the editors commentary on. another thing that can permanantly damage one of many peoples favorite pieces of furniture is the lack of a pillow case. i know lots of people get very attatched to their pillow. i like my pillow, or used to. right after my operation i came home and fell asleep for about 3 hours. i think it was three hours but i was kinda out of it so you could give or take a couple hours and it wouldnt be too far from the truth. i woke up with a big puddle of blood on my pillow and blanket and my clothes and it was kinda gross. i didnt feel like moving so i just went back to sleep. when i woke up it had crusted all over everything. then it was even more gross. when i pulled my face off of my pillow it was kinda stuck. i really wish i woulda had a pillow case. one thing that would help you, if you havnt already had to have your wisdom teeth removed, is to start practicing new eating habbits. it would benifit you alot to go ahead and learn how to use either your tongue or your thumb as your lower set of teeth. all you have to do is move your finger or tongue in an up and down mechanic motion under your upper two front teeth. it gets easy with practice. always try to keep food away from the areas of opperation. for instance, if you are eating yogurt, (first of all try getting the stuff without chunks of strawberry in it) try to keep and large particles of fruit from getting lodged between your swollen cheek and your very sore hole in your mouth. i think it would be so easy to be a hermit. after about 2 days of no human contact you kinda get used to being alone. you also start going a little crazy. but hey, have you ever met a hermit that wasnt a little bit twisted upstairs? me either. i think some people actually think they have reasons to be a hermit. i was trying to think of a reason the whole time i was trapped at my house. nothing came to me until i actually left my house today. i realized that there are lots of dumb people in this world. if you are around the wrong people to long you will be driven to insanity and therefore, in an effort to save themselves from years in a phsyc ward, people become hermits. personally i would rather be a troll because they get to live under bridges and have really cool hair. you are prolly already bored with this email but i will go on anyway. it wont hurt my feelings if you dont read it all. in fact there really isnt any way for me to know if you read it or not. no matter. its a pointless note spawned by the boredom deep within me. actually boredom is not the only thing prompting me to write this. i also just dont want to start my homework. i have quite a bit since i have been out of school for prolly the longest ive ever missed. i hate homework. its worse than having a waiter/waitress with a really bad cold that comes out with your drinks and you notice the ends of her fingers are actually in the fluid that you will be (or would be if you hadnt seen) drinking very soon. have you ever written something and forgot you wrote it. then like six months to 2 years later you find it on your hard drive? i found tons of stuff on my computer and it was weird. between reading my own matterial and being in the same two rooms for 5 days i got pretty weird. i started doing things like randomly getting urges to email people. who knows why i just did. so thats kinda what this whole thing is. i learned alot about myself this weekend. you learn alot about a person when you talk to them alot and i found myself talking to myself quite a bit. i think that is the first sign of lack of social life. im a people person...when im not around people i get annoyed and start either chatting on msn or reading/writing emails. but yes...i did learn alot about myself. i discovered that my right foot is still incredibly larger than my left. i found myself ignoring the shrek movie and totally concentrating on my foots massiveness. i like to talk to stars. most people would diagnose me as being extremely insecure for doing something that weird but what can i say...there werent any people around and i needed to talk. I had lots of time to pray. that was nice. i needed that. i was testing to see if i had epilepsy but i got bored and watched shrek again. i really enjoy those cheap little roller massage thingys. it is kinda hard to massage your own back though. i was creative and found that there are several ways to make it work. first is what i like to call the baloo. if you have ever seen the original jungle book im sure you will understand. there is a part in the jungle book where baloo is scratching his back on a palm tree. that inspired me. all you need for this is a roll of duct tape and a door (preferibly wooden). you tape the roller to the door adjacent to your lower back. then you lean against the roller and move your body up and down. although this is the most efficient method, it is embarrasing when you have someone watching you and you dont know it till they are totally convinced that you have lost your marbles. so i had to make a second attempt at a self made back massage. several years ago, my childhood was blessed with an extenda-arm thingy. its a cheap plastic toy that you hold and can use as a mechanical arm with a dual hook at the end for grabbing things. when you tighten your hand to a fist, the hooks close together around whatever is between them. this comes in handy. all you need to do for this one is hook the massage roller between the hooks and hold the handle behind your head. make sure that the roller ball is facing you for the best results. continue to make up and down movements until you are satisified or your arm is about to fall off. the main problems with this method is that your arm tires out way too fast and it is hard to put alot of pressure on your back. sometimes the roller will fall out of the hooks and you will have to start all over again. this is easily fixed with duck tape. what would this world be like without duck tape? it would be pretty sad let me tell ya. you would have to fix everything with paste. by the way, i discovered the other day that paste is made with flower and water. so...what exactly happens in our stomachs when we eat flower. is that like gluing our insides together. i sure hope not cause all those times that i thought i was eating pure sugar and it was really flower might have a detrimental affect on my future plans....living. well...come to think of it i dont think ive ever eaten pure flower. i dont think ive ever even eaten pure sugar except that one time at convention several years ago when jason and i had a contest to see who could eat the most sugar packets without throwing up. we never really got to finish that contest. we both got in trouble. it was dumb. i think i coulda downed another 10 or 12 before totally loosing it. jason didnt look to good though. so i think i coulda won. dont you hate that....your about to win and you are forced to quit. so annoying. well....this has been a long long boring email from me that is pointless. if you read this whole thing i commend you. your either really bored or a speed reader. thanks for listening. later. -me

ps. i would just like to say thank you to all of the people that came to visit me while i was under "house arrest." without you, i would prolly have gone totally insane instead of just half insane

Long Since Forgotten 2

EMAIL 2

Howday,

once again i find myself extremely tired but unable to sleep. i dont know what normal people do when this happens but i, not being a normal person, write long pointless emails. one of my very best friends in the whole world wrote me an email the other day that helped me learn a few valuable lessons. the main thing that i learned was that periods are a very important eliment in writing. the email he sent me was prolly equal to about 6 pages and there werent any periods. it got sorta confusing. so...even though i dont use much punctuation, i will use periods and an occasional comma. i need to kinda start off by saying that if you dont read all the way through this email...i wont be hurt at all. its really kinda pointless so i wouldnt be suprised if no one ever finishes it. for all of you that dont already know, radial angel is going to be at the coffee house on november 28 and you have to be there. they are amazing. if there is any possible way for you to be there, then be there. you wont regret it. regret....wow. just saying that word throws alot of ideas into my head. have you ever almost regretted doing something but you got a tiny something good out of the deal so you didnt? i seem to be feeling that alot lately. i went to convention with my church again this year and, although it was great for some people, i almost regret going. the teachings were very well done but they were also extremely elementary. basically God just got done dealing with me on all the issues that the speaker talked about. i would just like to say that herbert cooper is a great speaker. i dont know for sure what was worse; when the kansas youth leader stood up and asked for the offering, or when i (already being sickly) woke up blanketless next to a very large fully opened window. (thank you to my friends which i will keep annonymous) there were definately some good things that happened to me though. first off....i discovered the best way to save money on a trip like that. basically it goes a little something like this....when your group gets done with the first service at sometime around 930 pm, you go eat. we went to an ihop. usually there are several other youth groups there. you have to start out by claiming your seat by that is surrounded by girls. (this will be a concept that works for boys and girls...im not just trying to be a player) then you order your drink. excuse yourself from the table so you can go mingle with the other youth groups that have already been there for quite some time. this means that they are just getting their food. be sure to talk a little about how you cant wait for your food along with other small talk. if you make them laugh then you are more likely to pull this off than if you just make some chit chat. go back to your table and drink your whole cup of...well for me it was sprite...but for all of those people who are dedicated to their athletic functions water. talk to your group some so they know that you dont hate them. ask the waitress for another drink then go back to the other tables. by this time the other youth groups are usually finishing their food. they always have leftovers hehehe. well...make sure that you keep staring at their finished food (that usually has more than half of the meal left on the plate) and you are sure to be offered some of it. just doing this much of the procedure gained me i platter of hardly touched french fries, 4 chocolate chip pancakes, half a salad, and several other small articles of peoples food. i felt kinda bad for bumming off of those people so i paid their tip. i think that the feeling bad part will prolly wear off as i continue to work on my theory. after you eat all of the other groups food, go back to your table. by this time your table should have their food. you didnt order anything but thats ok. if you are sitting by alot of girls, odds are they wont finish their food. so....in my case i had 4 girls around me that didnt want to finish their food. do they not understand that their are starving people in china? what better way to save the world from hunger than giving it to the starving person across the table? well..by the end of your meal you are usually quite full and you have already saved quite a bit of money. you just have to pay for a drink and for a few peoples tip. not a bad deal at all for all the variety you get. {for those of you that take my words to heart....NEVER EVER EVER eat alot of chocolate chip pancakes and lots of chicken strips.....it doesnt mix too well in your stomach} well...thats the first lesson i learned. now on to the second. i learned that people that have a job that has a duel name of their "what do you do form" can be very annoying. for example, people who serve as a mantenance man/security guard seem to be very grouchy sometimes. our youth group got 5 rooms for 70 dollars apiece. i cant add but i think thats alot of money. well we are sitting outside of our own room talking and this guy gets pretty angry. there were actually two of them but one was really scrawny so he doesnt really count as anything. well...we werent even the loud youth group but they didnt like us. there were prolly 50 rooms full of people for this convention but ours got the brunt of all of their annoyingness. basically the guys made us stay in our rooms, which isnt too bad i dont suppose. but then when we are barely talking (actually i was trying to sleep and some other people were talking) and the guy bangs on our door and says that he can hear us in the hall so we have to calm down its pretty not cool. he kept saying things like "this is your last warning" and "if you dont quiet down im gunna go find your pastor." good thing for us he was talking to our youth pastor. yeah. he was really grouchy. i dont know what was wrong with him. he needs Jesus. maybe then he would be a little less grouchy. well...i dont want to think about that because i will get angry. i turn into the hulk when i get mad. im not green though. im kinda the same color as silly putty. ive never destroyed a major city yet either, but hey, there is always a future. well...lets move on to the third thing i learned. never sleep next to an open window when its like 20 degrees outside. blankets help you when you are in extreme conditions like that but....well...some of my friends apparently needed them more than i did cause they borrowed them from me while i was sleeping. falling out of the window would be bad too but i think i would rather be dead than have this annoying throat cold stuff. the next thing that i learned is that i look like a beggar. while i was at the mall in witchita on the way home i was waiting outside the bathrooms for a couple of my friends. well.. i was sitting there all alone and holding my hat. before i knew what had happened a man walked by and threw 16 cents into my hat. i was kinda stunned for a few secconds but then i eventually got around to saying thank you. im not sure if he heard me or not. im sure that would be a great part time job. i guess if i look the part why not play it. that kinda leads me into the last thing that i learned. i decided while we were in the mall that i would spend the last 30 minutes seeing how many job applications i could pick up. i dont know what made me want to do this but i had fun. while i was at gap asking for an application, the lady sincerely wanted to hire me. she was freaking out cause the christmas rush is just starting i guess. it was kinda strange. most of the other people didnt care if i worked at their store or not. well...i guess i just learned that if i ever want a job other than begging i will go to gap. are you still reading this email? wow im proud of you. well...im not sure how much more i will write but im gunna keep going cause im bored and i dont want to start my homework. i think i will talk about today. it all started with me waking up late. i dont know what is wrong with me but nothing makes sense to me in the mornings. i cant read anything in the mornings....not even clocks. so...i was about 33 minutes late to church. i felt really bad but i know that God still loves me. after church i went home and had some family bonding time. then i went to mollys house for a little bit. then i went to justins house. ya see....my class wrote this drama for our school program. we are performing in 5 days and i dont know my lines at all. see...i was sick the day that they wrote the script down and i dont have a copy. so i went to justins house to learn the script with him but i fell asleep. by the time i woke up, it was already time to go to aubreys suprise bday party. that was fun i guess. i was really tired through the whole thing though. ive been kinda sickly recently and i think that i need to sleep for about 5 days. that would be really nice. are you still reading this? man you must not have a life or you must really love me or something. you know how they say you dont know what you have till you lose it? well....that is soo true. there are lots of things that i take for granted in this life. im just gunna list some of the things that i cant imagine going without. 1 carbonated drinks. as soon as basketball season hits coaches always say not to drink any soda. well....i think i must be addicted because i cant stop. how sad is that. i must be a major loser. im gunna be the worst person on our team. 2 socks with holes in them. you know....i was at a friends house recently and one of my friends siblings had a hole in his sock so my friend told him just to throw that pair of socks away. i dont know if anyone else thinks like this but i love my holy socks. they are the best when they just have three holes. one by the ball of your foot, one on the heel (which is usually the biggest) and one on the big toe. the problem with having one on the big toe is that it tends to grow the fastest and will eventually uncover all of your toes. this is rather uncomfortable. so sometimes it is better just to have two holes. (heel and ball) 3 kleenexs (im not quite sure how to spell the plural form of kleenex) can you imagine a world where everyone just went around picking their nose? i mean...sometimes when you pull up next to someone at a stoplight and they are picking their nose that is tolerable because they are 7 feet away from you and you prolly wont ever shake that persons hand. but what if the whole world would always just pick their nose or blow their nose on their clothes? ahh! talk about even more of a reason to have a personal bubble. 4   mood rings. there are people in this world that have daily emotional tennis matches. if you end up being the ball it can kinda make you end up more confused than you ever have been before. sadly enough mood rings arent being worn as much as they used to. its always nice to know what someone is feeling. like if im talking to someone i can just look at their mood ring to see if they want me to leave or if they hate me or if i should leave cause they are trying to hook up with me or if they dont really care if im there or not. this is always a good thing to know. i miss the 80s (even though i only lived 3and a half years in them) because lots more people wore mood rings. 5 brakes. can you imagine what would happen if your car didnt have brakes? ok think of it this way. i bet if none of the cars in chanute had brakes on haloween, 1 of 2 things are bound to happen. 1 the number of children attending middle schools will drop drastically (along with our population) or 2 lots of people would have lock ins. yes i am definately thankful for brakes 6 music. actually...you should be more thankful than i should for music. if i didnt have music then i would prolly start sining alot and none of you want to hear that so....yeah....be thankful that my longing for music is appeased...for now. wow...it didnt hit me till just now that its almost thanksgiving and thats exactly what im doing. what a coincidence. well....if you read this whole thing i am sorry. im sure that you would be much happier with your former, higher iq. as great as this little session has been....its definately time for me to stop procrastinating and do my homework. later -me